Confrontation
by George Weasley's Girlfriend
Summary: Each day of his life, Professor Severus Snape fights a battle within himself. A filk to Jekyll & Hyde's Confrontation explores the turmoil inside what is left of Snape's battered heart and the secrets that tear apart his very being. PG-13 for dark themes


**Author**: George Weasley's Girlfriend

**Title**: Confrontation

**Rating**: PG-13 for dark themes and some language

**Disclaimer**: Severus Snape and company all belong to the ingenious Ms. J. K. Rowling.The song is "Confrontation," from the musical "Jekyll & Hyde," but I have no freaking idea who owns the copyright to this, but I don't own it.Damn. These specific lyrics are from the concept album and, IMHO, better than the Broadway version.

**Author's Notes**: If you have Napster, I highly recommend downloading the Anthony Warlow version of "Confrontation," as it is most excellent.And just for clarification, Jekyll's lyrics are in **bold** and Hyde's are in _italics_.Snape's thoughts are also in italics, but I think you can distinguish them from the rest of the piece.You kind of have to know that to get the song without the fic sounding weird.I would also like to thank my ff.net certified beta reader, Christina, for doing this while my other BRs are busy with TBWL.

# **Confrontation**

Severus Snape bent over the Potions exam, a sleek eagle feather quill in his gnarled hand.He scowled at the student's inability to properly explain the importance of the outlaw of Love Potions.Students these days got more and more stupid and the poor dunderheads thought that they were merely being challenged.How could they not realize how easy their schoolwork was?The only thing more tedious than writing up these simple tests was grading them.

_You didn't _have_ to become a teacher_, his mind taunted._Voldemort was more than happy to take you on as a second-in-command.You could have taken his place when the Potter boy brought him down._

"Stop it," he growled aloud.He'd long left his Hyde behind.He'd returned to the wizarding world as a law-abiding citizen long before Voldemort fell.He had given the Order of the Phoenix loads of information on Dark movements and inside activities.He had returned to Jekyll.

**It's over now,  
I know inside.  
No on will ever know,  
The sorry tale of Edward Hyde,  
And those who died.**

His conclusion to leave the Dark side had been reached one late evening after putting the finishing touches on a potion that would counteract any healing spells.The idea was to get it into the water supply of the opposition, so when the Aurors went out to defeat any Death Eaters, they would get a nasty surprise when trying to heal their own injuries.

At a late evening hour two decades earlier, a young Severus Snape looked out the window of his small cottage to see a small child skipping along the cobblestone street.While the man had grown to have a strong disregard for human life… it was a mere child standing before him.He toyed with the idea of shouting at her to get away from his property, but remained silent for reasons unknown to him.He had watched as the young girl reached down and plucked a flower out of the ground.She giggled as she inhaled the scent.

"Kristi!" a harried man's voice had called from down the street.Snape had sunk back into the shadows, but watched with beetle-black eyes.He saw a thin, brown-haired man rush forward and scoop the young girl into his arms.

"Daddy!" the girl giggled, throwing her arms around her father's neck.

"Oh, don't you ever scare me like that again," the man whispered, cradling his daughter against him.He closed his eyes and kissed her hair."Don't run off on me like that ever again, you understand?" he demanded firmly yet gently, holding the girl away from him and smiling in relief.The girl nodded, oblivious to the fact that her father was now holding onto her tighter, stroking her hair softly.

**No one must ever know.**

**They'd only see the tragedy.  
They'd not see my intent.  
The shadow of Hyde's evil,  
Would forever kill the good that I had meant.**

** **

The father turned to leave, his daughter snug in his arms with her head resting sleepily on his shoulder.Snape turned away from the window, but the father's words didn't escape his hearing.

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you," he murmured.Snape stiffened at this.He looked down at the vial of the "Trojan Horse" potion he'd created and perfected earlier that day.He was going to end lives of Aurors, wizards who had no regard to purity of magical blood and let Muggle-born children receive a magical education.He had already come to terms with that.But what if a woman offered a contaminated glass of water to her young son?And what if that child was to injure himself to the point where only a quick spell would be able to save him?

** **

**Am I a good man?  
Am I a mad man?  
It's such a fine line,  
Between a good man and a...**

Into the early morning hours, Snape had debated with himself.Pure blood was becoming less and less commonplace as Mudbloods became more popular in the wizarding world.Death Eaters were trained to prevent the spread any farther.Snape was disgusted at this deterioration in respect.What were a few lives in return for normalcy in the wizarding world?

Everything.

The first doubt wasn't enough to totally convince the power-seeking young man to change his ways.Voldemort had made an appealing offer: serve me, do my bidding, and you shall be rewarded.Each time he had convinced himself to betray Voldemort, his Hyde would return.

_Do you really think,  
That I would ever let you go?  
Do you think I'd ever set you free?  
If you do, I'm sad to say,  
It simply isn't so.  
You will never get away from me! _

His Dark side insisted that it was the only way to get power, to retain the purity in the magical community.His conscience, the side that told him that he had been doing wrong, assured him that he could control his Dark urges and it would be more beneficial if he was to help the Order of the Phoenix, an elite group of Aurors that had been tracking Voldemort's movements a lot closer than the Dark Lord would have been comfortable with.

  
**All that you are,  
Is a face in the mirror.  
I close my eyes and you disappear! **

_I'm what you face,  
When you face in the mirror.  
Long as you live, I will still be here! _

As the night faded into day, his inner conflict intensified.Peace of mind or power?Right or wrong?Life or death?Light or dark?At the first sign of betrayal – indecision even – Voldemort would have Snape killed without a twinge of remorse.But each day as a Death Eater was risky.He could never trust a strange witch or wizard without a Dark Mark on their arm.He never dared to show his forearm to strangers for fear that they made their living as Aurors.He was even cautious around well-known Death Eaters, as one could never know where a person's loyalties laid.

**All that you are,  
Is the end of a nightmare!  
All that you are is a dying scream!  
After tonight,  
I shall end this demon dream! **

Dawn broke and he hadn't a made full decision that he was confident in.

"_I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you._"The man's words echoed in his ears for hours.Murder was taking place, and he was helping it along.He was part of an organization that tore families apart, ruined lives and shattered dreams.The nagging thought that haunted him was that one man couldn't make a difference.His decision to change sides wouldn't turn around the course the wizarding world was heading.

_This is not a dream, my friend,  
And it will never end!  
This one is the nightmare that goes on!  
Hyde is here to stay,  
No matter what you may pretend.  
And he'll flourish long after you're gone!_

But if he could take the technology he was creating and use it for good…If instead of weakening the other opponents, he could strengthen them from the inside…Perhaps then there would be a prayer for the innocent children involved against their will.

**Soon you will die,  
And my mem'ry will hide you!  
You cannot choose but to lose control! **

  
_You can't control me!  
I live deep inside you!  
Each day you'll feel me devour your soul! _

For the rest of his life, the decision would eat away at him.His constant thirst for power would forever drain him of the will to do what his conscience told him was right.He would live for the day that his Dark side would fade away completely and the longing for Dark magic would vanish from his life.

  
**I don't need you to survive like you need me!  
I'll become whole as you dance with death!  
And I'll rejoice as you breathe your final breath! **

_For I'll live inside you forever!_

**No! **

He had wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts job at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for years now, hoping that practicing his natural talents in a controlled environment would release the tension he felt build day after day.But Professor Albus Dumbledore had been correct of depriving him of the job; divulging back into Dark magic would only intensify his need to return to it.

_With Satan himself by my side! _

**No! **

And so Snape toiled away each day and night in the dungeons of Hogwarts castle, leaving his cold sanctuary for meals and the occasional patrolling of the hallways.

_And I know that now and forever,  
They'll never be able to separate  
Jekyll from Hyde! _

Each day he feared his Hyde would come back and he would be tempted to the Dark side.As Lord Voldemort rose again, he was asked to reaccept his double-agent mission to uncover the latest plans.The anxiety within him built with every waking moment.

**Can't you see,  
It's over now?  
It's time to die! **

_No, not I!  
Only you! _

He had to get rid of his Dark urges once and for all.But how?

**If I die,  
You die too! **

_You'll die in me!  
I'll _be_ you! _

If he was to return to the Dark side, his potions, the ones whose chemical bases had not yet been disclosed to Dumbledore, could be the deciding factor.The water supply would be poisoned.The Aurors would be weakened.

**Damn you, Hyde!  
Leave me be! **

_Can't you see?  
You are me! _

And now, eight days before the start of the new term, Snape was forced with the choice once more.He was to return to Voldemort in a week's time.Taking on the double agent role would prevent the perfect cover to get Voldemort inside information as he had done before.As Peter Pettigrew had done to ensure the deaths of Lily and James Potter.

  
**No!  
Deep inside-**

_I am pure!  
You are Hyde! _

Furious rage welled up inside him. Pettigrew, the sniveling coward that had followed around James Potter and Sirius Black in their Hogwarts days, had turned in his best friends for a moment of glory.Pettigrew had been responsible for murder of the love of his life, Lily Evans.Even as a Mudblood Gryffindor, Lily had captured Snape's heart at the first glance of her beautiful green eyes.Snape had remained silent, never daring to hold eye contact with the beautiful, yet untouchable girl.Well-liked, charming and attractive, James Potter had swept her up in their fifth year.

**No, never! **

_Yes, forever! _

The urge to turn to the Dark side, to hurt others as he had been hurt, was strong.His mind fought with it each day.But the thought of tearing people from their families, their friends, their loved ones now sickened him.

**God damn you, Hyde!  
Take all your evil deeds  
And rot in hell! **

  
_I'll see you there, Jekyll!_

_ _

Some day, Snape hoped to get rid of his Hyde, but as he glanced at that very Muggle book that collected dust on the edge of his shelf, he remembered that Jekyll was never truly free of Hyde.Not until the final death scene.

**~*~*As Fleur would say… "Zee End!"~*~***


End file.
